Karnamrita's blog

When Devotees Leave Krishna

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Fighting with Krishna photo Against Krishna_zpswi8zogbf.jpg[originally posted on 1-08-15]
Sometimes we experience great surprise and intense sadness at the unexpected departure from the bhakti path of a devotee we may have been inspired by or respected. Or even if the devotee struggled to follow the basic devotional practices and disciplines, we can still be unnerved when they leave, and then denounce and attack what is still our faith, reinterpreting their stay in an ashram in terms of cultic manipulation and brainwashing. “What really happened?” me may wonder, and how could I have helped prevent this? Sometimes in the aftermath of such a sudden departure, some devotees worry and wonder if it could happen to them, as it brings up their own doubts. This scenario recently happened in a circle of devotees I know, and it caused me to reflect on what it takes to stay on the path, and the various reasons people leave.

When I was a new devotee I experienced one of my friends leave the temple. I didn’t see him again for three weeks until he came to the Sunday feast. Though I recognized him, I was startled to see his expression. He looked like a shadow of his former self when he had a bright faced countenance. Now he had a dark gloomy appearance and seemed unfocused and dazed. I wondered what had brought this about, as if he had just entered a self-created prison.

GREAT LIFE REVERSES CAN REVEAL GOD'S GRACE AND SHOW WHAT WE MOST NEED, WHAT WE CHERISH, GREATLY VALUE, AND OUR HIDDEN STRENGTHS

 photo DSCN0801_zpsfsuw1r9u.jpg [Originally published, 3-28-16 at the beginning of my cancer healing journey]
HOW CAN WE USE OUR SORROW, PAIN OR GREAT LIFE REVERSES TO INVOKE GOD'S GRACE THAT IS HIDDEN BEHIND IT: To be human is to experience pain, betrayal, disappointment, and various kinds of suffering. We may ask, "Why me?" To which I would reply, "Why not you?" We all have our litany lists of wrongs done to us or to those we love. What do we do with this list?

One natural tendency is that we would rather avoid pain than to experience happiness, so in the face of pain, violence, or loss, we tend to either repress it or be angry or resentful about it. I have experienced both of these reactions to life situations. Unfortunately, such reactions are only helpful in the short term, but do little to help us grow as a person, and self-improvement, and ultimately spiritual awakening are, to me, the purpose of life. Otherwise, we have a pointless dog eat dog world, with death being the end of everything.

Could there be some benefit, even great benefit in these experiences? Some will be angry just at my asking this question, and yet, if we don't ask it, we can remain ever in reaction to the past, and keep playing it out in relationship to others.

We also find that even what everyone else thinks is good fortune or an ideal situation can be interpreted by the person in the middle of it as a terrible or awful experience. So while we have all heard this before, the simple yet powerful truth is that our attitude is really what gives meaning to the events of our lives or a statement we hear. This means that we can change our feelings about an experience by changing the meaning we give it, or by using it as a way to improve our lives.

IF NOT NOW, WHEN?

 photo RSCN3935_zpskv4ldrn5.jpg
[reposted from Jan 28, 2017]
There is no perfect time or place,
so if we wait, we will never accomplish,
or sing the song which vibrates our heart
meant to nourish every cell in our body.

To breathe out, one only has to breathe in,
but we can’t hold our breath forever;
so begin today while you are still breathing
because there are no tomorrows or could-bes.

Only a string of nows, do-days giving potential
at least one step of progress on the miles ahead
though even a step back can help us go forward

Hiranya-kashipu’s Disappearance Day (Lord Nrisimhadeva’s Appearance)

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Merciful Lord Nrisimhadeva
[This blog was originally written on Saturday May 5, 2012. This year this appearance/disappearance day was May 18th in India and May 17th in the USA]
I am only half kidding with today’s blog title, yet I am trying to make a point, as you will see. Specifically, this is the day we celebrate the devotion of Prahlad, his constant remembrance of Krishna, and Krishna’s assuming the fearsome, though ecstatic, form of Lord Nrisimhadeva to protect and glorify His pure devotee. However, we can also feel a kind of gratitude to Hiranya-kashipu, for without his demoniac nature, and trying to kill his son, we would have never heard of Prahlad, or seen the practical demonstration of the Lord’s love for his devotees. Great souls are glorified by their struggles and victory over adversity.

In every great life story there must be an antagonist which allows the hero to shine. Although unimaginably powerful, Hiranya-kashipu also represents our tiny selves, or our personal rebellion against God, and—to put it nicely—those less than ideal qualities in our heart that we as devotees, or sadhakas, struggle with. Thus, in our material conditioned state, we can think of our dark side like a mini-Hiranya-kashipu, and pray that the Lord slay our “anarthas” or our unwanted conditioning, such as lust, anger, greed, enviousness, etc. We are fortune to have both good and bad examples in the scriptures, so we will know our ideal, and what we want to rise above. Everyone can be our teacher!

CUTTING LOOSE THE WEIGHTS THAT HOLD US DOWN, & Vrindavana Healing Video Blog# 5, Power of Attitude, Love, Gratitude, Mindfulness

[revised to reflect my current situation in India--reposted from7-20-18 ]
Sometimes, in spite of our best efforts
we’re just stuck in our old patterns.
Even we say we don’t like them
but they’re habitual, a natural groove—
such a strange aspect of life
how we empower our personal rut
while screaming our whine against it!

The essence of trying to go forward
is that change doesn’t come easy
unless we make a total commitment
and there is more pain in stagnation
then in changing for the better—
we do more to avoid pain
than to experience happiness.

ENDEAVOR AND GRACE—A HUMBLE ATTEMPT TO SHARE MY PHILOSOPHY OF LIFE and VRINDAVANA HEALING VIDEO BLOG #4

ENDEAVOR AND GRACE—A HUMBLE ATTEMPT TO SHARE MY PHILOSOPHY OF LIFE TO A FRIEND I HAVE ENDEAVORED TO BE AN ENCOURAGING CHEER LEADER TO FOR SOME YEARS, AS HE SORTS OUT HIS LIFE:

What follows is part of a discussion I had with this friend, where I shared part of my philosophy of life in a nutshell:

What prompted this was a quote he sent me:

उद्यमेन विना राजन्न सिध्यन्ति मनोरथा:।
कातरा इति जल्पन्ति यद्भाव्यं तद्भविष्यति।।
(पञ्चतन्त्रे)
O King, one can never achieve without hard work; only cowards say, “what is destined to happen will happen”. (Pañcatantra)

My two responses:

1) Endeavor and grace. Thinking, feeling, willing, acting, blessings, as we aren't the doer. We do our best after full deliberation, and leave the rest to Krishna knowing we aren't the ultimate cause for the results.

His response to this was a pranams (hands in prayer) symbol and a smile, so I was inspired to share the following. Of course, I don't know why he shared this quote, yet knowing him, I think he just wanted to highlight the importance of our endeavor. As a devotee, he knows the reality of depending on Krishna, while also knowing that some may refrain from endeavoring due a fatalist attitude, making karma supreme, and thus not thinking we can change, or strive for a certain goal, or that depending on Krishna means inaction.

A Lotus in the Redwoods and Vrindavana Healing Video Blog #3

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Some persons caught up in the counter-culture of the late '60's and '70's felt that all materiel prospects were void and society's status quo, miserable stagnation. Thus, as if in a life and death battle, they intensely felt compelled to search out meaning and happiness on the spiritual quest, appearing as their only hope. This free verse poem, inspired by the months I spent in the redwood forest in Muir Woods in Marin County [near San Francisco, California], condenses the background feelings of my spiritual search that culminated in Krishna bhakti and continues to unfold to this day, some 49 years later.

While the dynamics of my mood in writing this poem in 2011 was much softer than is expressed in this poem, my current mood has a similar quality in terms of inspiring action. The power of my original spiritual search gives me energy today, and has sustained my spiritual life all these years. I am inspired to remember that pivotal time of my life. It reminds of the power of urgency in fueling our endeavor to act for our dreams and goals, and what is required to make radical life changes for a higher purpose. I was so determined (for the first time in my life for anything!) to find the real purpose of my life and to make sense of what appeared to be a mad, pointless, world.

I was willing to forgo everything else to be successful on that pilgrim's journey. By the grace of my current cancer I am putting forward a more mature, subtle, but no less powerful, determination toward my life goal of service to others by speaking and writing, based on my life experiences. I'm inspired to remember the feeling and dynamism of that time of new beginnings, and to create another new beginning for myself. And as I have, so can you, whatever your age!

Shri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu’s Appearance—The Exoteric and Esoteric Reasons

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Chaitanya and Krishna lila photo ChaitanyalilaandKrishnalila_zps0ffbcc5f.jpg

[reposted from 3-15-14] There are many ways to know a person. One can know a person by guessing what they might, or should, be like, study the person from a distance—say from the Gossip column, Internet, or Facebook— hear about them from others who may, or may not, know them, or we may directly experience the person through a loving personal relationship.

The last way is the best because if we love a person we will discover, and they will reveal to us, all their secrets. It is similar with Krishna. Even though he is both infinite and inconceivable he has the prerogative to reveal himself to those who love him purely and selflessly. In regard to Krishna, and specifically Shri Chaitanya, there is both an exoteric (apparent) as well as an esoteric (hidden) reason for his appearance.

PART ONE, THE CONFIDENTIAL, HIDDEN REASONS:

The closer we come to Krishna the more we will know about him, by his grace. And there are many ways to explain the necessity of the Lord’s various forms and energies. For example, great devotees have looked very carefully at Krishna, and discovered another person, Radha, or devotion personified, who is most dear to Krishna. There is Krishna, and his energies, all of which come from Radha.

And looking even more closely at the Divine Couple, pure devotees have found that Radha and Krishna have combined together to become one, in the person of Shri Chaitanya. Such pure souls, such as the Six Goswami’s of Vrindavan, Shri Krishnadas Kaviraja, and others, have shared their experience with us in their writings, and given us the logic of their love, referenced by the Vedic scriptures.

THE LORD'S DESIRES ARE ALWAYS FULFILLED

If we study the lila, divine activities, of Radha and Krishna as revealed in the Shrimad Bhagavatam and Chaitanya Charitamrita commented on our Gaudiya Vaishnava acharyas including Shrila Prabhupada, we will understand that there must be a Lord Chaitanya to fulfill Krishna’s unmet need. Krishna is perfect, complete, and full in himself, so when he wants to experience something, he manifests a situation and spiritual body accordingly.

Saved from Drowning, and a 5 minute video, The Intensity of the Search for Cancer Treatments

Praying for tolerance like the tree photo DSCN7043_zpsovp4l5yn.jpg
I decided to include either a reworked blog, or some written material in addition to videos concerning my cancer healing journey so you can also have something to read and think about even if you don't watch the video. I admit that if you don't know me, or what I am about, my personal healing journey with cancer may not interest you. However, if you or a loved have cancer, or any life-threatening disease, I think you will get something out of this series. Plus, as we are all confronted with the temporariness of our body, and it's inevitable demise, we are all the same boat of having to come to terms with physical death, and if there is any afterlife, or soul, or God.

I will post the links for the videos at the end of my written material as that will motivate me to put them up all on YouTube. Even if they can help a few people, I will be happy. Currently I have great spiritual urgency in my writing, speech, and inner life, due to my facing possible death for the last 3 1/2 years, and now, living alone in Vrindavan accompanied by my Deities and many pictures of incarnations of Krishna and his great devotees, I also surround myself with the holy name, intense prayers for surrender, in lamentation for wasted years of life, and for spiritual aspirations. Adding to my intensity of spiritual purpose is my voluntary, but also forced austerity of a super intense and regulated healing Ayurvedic regiment for cancer.

As a result of all this I can honestly say that my spiritual life is being rekindled, with the hope and prayer that it becomes a blazing fire, so to speak. This comes out gradually in my current Vrindavana Healing Video-Blogs, where to my eye we get to see a gradual transformation. First I will be posting preliminary videos from the first days of my cancer diagnosis from 3 years ago. Though I haven't found much commenting on blogs here these days, I do appreciate suggestions for how best to share these videos I am making.

I'm here to serve you by who I am as a person, as a long-standing practitioner of bhakti, or pure devotional loving service for Radha and Krishna, and Their combined incarnation for this age, Shri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu. We attempt and pray to serve them, and their servants, like our spiritual masters, like Shrila Prabhupada, and his servants, and servants of his servants. We pray to take our place in that line of preceptors and mentors, and in that way, if you want, to be of service to you, and the family of of the earth that we all share.

Shri Advaita Acharya—Teaching the Secret Bliss of Servitorship

(this blog is recorded on the full page: quick time player needed)
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[Depending on where you are in the world, today, or here in India, to morrow, is Sri Advaita Achary's appearance day. So I am reposting a blog from 2012, and will post my first two Vrindavana Healing Video Blogs in a few days to test the water of interest.]“I offer my respectful obeisances to Shri Advaita Acharya, whose activities are all wonderful. By His mercy, even a foolish person can describe His characteristics.” [Chaitanya Charitamrita Adi-lila 6.1] Shrila Prabhupada, my guru, and the founder/exemplary teacher of the Hare Krishna movement, referred to the bhakti scriptures as “the science of God.” This term is amply demonstrated by the appearance days of various incarnations or expansions of Godhead. Shri Advaita Acharya is one such expansion of God, specifically of Krishna, whom Gaudiya Vaisnava’s see as the fountainhead or Source of all incarnations—or we could say, the Source of our conception of God which is in relationship to the material world. Within this tradition Shri Advaita Acharya is famous, and celebrated for His compassion, as it was His pure prayers for Krishna that caused Krishna to personally appear (as Shri Chaitanyadeva) for the deliverance of suffering humanity. Specifically, Shri Advaita is the cause of the material creation and is considered an expansion of Maha-Vishnu, that aspect of Krishna who maintains and sustains the material world.

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