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Please tell me what to do.

I know this boy for more than 10 years and I realized that I liked him since the beginning. I told him that I have lots of affection for him but there's nothing as love. I'm just 16 and I'm still in school. I don't know what to do. He is not talking me as before and I feel so wrong, so depressed. Please tell me to do the right thing, about what to do.

The reason of why I'm asking your opinion for this is because I want to see whether this matter is right or wrong of Krishna devotees. I don't want to make something wrong.

Overcome your attachment

Hare Krishna Andrea!

I would agree with Jan Prabhu that the proper way for a man and a woman to associate would be through marriage. For a woman, this means you are devoted to only one man for your life; for a man, this means he is devoted to only one woman. This is the etiquette. Your situation, I feel, is a result of having strong attachment for someone you can't really marry.

You say you have no love for your friend, but strong attachment. On the spiritual platform, love for another would be defined as a strong desire to help them advance in their spiritual life, i.e. Krishna consciousness, and to help them attain Krishna and go back to Godhead, back Home. Any other kind of love would be on the material platform. Attachment simply causes bondage and it causes lamentation, the way you are doing right now. I can understand that this situation probably means a lot to you at the moment, but the best thing you can do is just accept that this would be Krishna's desire for you to move on and a great way to practice detachment!

How can you become detached? Detachment comes from knowledge. Fast forward 30 years from now - you're married, you have kids, and you're looking back on this. It will simply be a flash in your life. It means so much right now but it may not have much significance in the future. Of course, you have been friends with him for such a long time that you must have developed much attachment for him, so it may be very difficult to become detached, but do your best. Otherwise, if things don't work out, you may be holding on so strongly to this attachment months (even years) later. This will simply cause more lamentation. Don't do this to yourself.

Andrea, see your situation in a positive light. It will help make things much easier. See the smiling face and helping hand of your dearest Lord, your ever well-wisher and eternal lover. Krishna loves you so much, and would never put you into difficulty, provided that the difficulty helps you in some way or another. Take this as a wonderful opportunity given to you by Krishna to practice detachment, patience, tolerance and forgiveness, which all work together to make you stronger. This will also help you not to make the same mistake again, and perhaps it works as a reminder that the proper way for a male and female to associate would be through marriage. And even that, with full devotion to one another. Otherwise, if the relationship is only steamed by some kind of emotional/physical attraction, it will all just break apart and crumble. It's like building a sandcastle - we may build it quickly in the hopes that it will all work out, only to find that it's impossible to maintain it, because that sandcastle of hope just gets destroyed by the waves of the ocean, no matter how many times we may re-build it.

Perhaps you might like to read this book called "Ten Stupid Things Women Do To Mess Up Their Lives" by Dr Laura Schlessinger. Perhaps we can make a Krishna conscious version of this book! :)

Hope that has helped you.

At your service,
Bhaktin Roma

As per Vedic culture a couple

As per Vedic culture a couple should be married after a jyotish (see Wiki) compatibility check. Before marriage, and esp. when underage, there should be no sexual contacts among the two. The model situation is seen in the Vrindavan dham, the ideal Vedic society.

Hari Hari
ys Jan

Develop the same love same

Develop the same love same attachment with the divine. Make him your beloved. He will never forsake you